Sussex news, it is very cold, and I have a mild hangover. My cousins just came over for tea and I made mars bar cakes, weighing in at just under 1,000 calories a bite. I now feel even sicker, and the only thing I can think to do is keep on eating.

When I got to work on Wednesday, I was confronted by a mad girl. There was nobody in the office and I'd barely taken my coat off when she came marching in, demanding to be taken to college. A long argument ensued during which she called her social worker, the college and the bus timetable service, threatening them all when they didn't offer to come over and chaffeur her to Havant personally. She then went on to try and ring a counselling service, her solicitor and the police. There was no milk at home so I hadn't even had a cup of tea and after an hour or so of being shouted at and stomped about in front of by a total stranger, I'd was considering giving up the bleeding hearts business and becoming a media tycoon. It wasn't until her social worker visited in the afternoon that I found out she does actually have mental health problems, and I'd spent a whole morning taking her name in vain and generally being very unfair. She's run away now, which am quite upset about, as she's about one of the most vulnerable people I've ever met, and could teach most toddlers a thing or two about tantrums.

I partied on down with a vengeance at the weekend. It was my cousin's 30th birthday, and he decided to throw a party aboard a tiny barge on the canal. But wait, it gets better, the vessel was to be filled with thirty odd Christians, all of whom were supposed to bring a bottle, and most of these turned out to be squash. Just before setting sail, we were required to say grace, something I haven't done since primary school.

I'm off to work in a bit. Yes that's right, off to work. It's been a while since I've said that. My first day was Monday, and by 11am I'd had two cups of tea, half a packet of biscuits and was about to start my hour and a half lunch break. To say that they're easing us in gently does not really do justice to the situation, it was more like we'd come to live there than work there. Hopefully tonight will be slightly more challenging, I might even get to meet some asylum seekers.

Split up with the boyf again last week. It's seems to happen on a three month basis, we have a row about something insubstantial, it snowballs, I get paranoid, suggest we split up, he agrees, I am horrified that he has taken this suggestion seriously, hang up phone, ring back half an hour later, both admit we don't really want to split up. It sounds a bit like a recipe, and I suppose it is, a recipe for tears and lots of sex and days and days of wondering if this is going anywhere at all?

My mum went to work yesterday with a bag of magic mushrooms in her car. True. My sister found them on a cliff top at the weekend and was planning to poison half of Sussex with them, but she left her booty on the back seat, in full view. Still, it's not illegal unless they're dried out is it? Although by the time she gets round to moving them, they probably will be.