I partied on down with a vengeance at the weekend. It was my cousin's 30th birthday, and he decided to throw a party aboard a tiny barge on the canal. But wait, it gets better, the vessel was to be filled with thirty odd Christians, all of whom were supposed to bring a bottle, and most of these turned out to be squash. Just before setting sail, we were required to say grace, something I haven't done since primary school.
We tried our best to get things going. My sister made vodka jelly and wore a see-through top. I cranked the CD player up to top volume and ran about, shouting 'come on all you Christians'. But most of them didn't even take their coats off, and were drinking pots of tea by 9.30. My strange African flatmate was giving us evils all night, he was also wearing a bobble hat and carrying a burglar style torch, which just added to his overall strangeness. I did meet one fabulous girl, who had made her own polka dot party dress, but she was a rare sight indeed. Still the food was good, and my other cousin did her witch dance, plus her Thai husband announced to the entire boat (they were all looking at him strangely because he was sneezing down the side of the jetty) 'obviously, I am Asian!'
And look at all this super cool stuff I found on E-Bay. Clearly these people don't know what they have on their hands, 2 measly quid for a Dick Van Dyke keyring? If I had a left testicle, I would gladly hand it over in exchange for such a treasure.
