...don't ever organise blind dates for your friends. They will end up coming back and biting you on the arse, as everybody sits around and stares at their shoes, secretely blaming you for everything that has gone wrong in their lives to date, but especially this.
Actually, it wasn't so bad. Here is a quick reminder in Graham stylee: My friend Itsuka met a man on NYE whom she had no interest in, yet still spent three hours talking to. I meanwhile was getting on stupendously well with his Jarvis Cocker looky-like mate Elliot. It turned out that we both like interfering in other people's lives, so when Matt texted Itsuka to ask for another date and she didn't want to go alone, Elliot and I decided it would be fun to set up his mate Adam with my sister, then sit back and feel the lurve.
Except there wasn't any lurve in this room, everybody was terribly polite and got on terribly well but there was absolutely no snogging of any description, and they ended the evening with a round of awkward hugs and 'see ya around'. So, a complete waste of everyone's time then.
Something that certainly wasn't a waste of time was Brokeback Mountain, gay cowboys have become my new favourite thing ever. Jake Gyllenhal wearing nothing but cowboy boots. If I had a penis, then would surely have passed out by the force of the blood rushing to it when this came on the screen. I can barely type now, lust is making my vision hazy.
Ooh, ooh, also, I might get to go backstage at the Boosh! Elliot's mate knows somebody who knows somebody whose dog is very well connected, whose sister once saw Bobby Davro in the street and well anyway, he might be able to get us backstage after the show!!! I'm trying to think of something really funny and original to say to Vince Noir, to cover up my inevitable declarations of love, marriage and cute little hairy babies when I get within ten feet of him. Note to self, must remember to spill something offensive all down my sister (possibly urine?) so she'll have to go home and change whilst I am schmoozing with my future bride.