To start, this is an excellent Big Brother blog. Grace Dent usually writes 'World of Lather' for the Guardian, the best analysis of british soaps that's ever made me choke on my Weetabix of a morning. She's my hero. She knows her telly. She watches it far too much.
http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/bigbrother/
In fact, such is my admiration that I've just e-mailed her.
"Grace teaches three year olds. I'm guessing this is why she's getting on so well with Nikki at the moment. But it also worries me immensely, I can picture her retouching that god awful frosty pink lipstick in the toilets between classes and making evil observations about some poor tot's elephant thighs, hitching up her spangly leotard so the final inch of arse is on full display.
Not to worry though. By this time next year, Nikki's only claim to fame will be appearing in a Sun photo story entitled 'Stacey's double trouble'. And Grace will be have been given a new identity and be living in a refuge somewhere with Makosi, Tim and Nasty Nick."
It's been ten minutes and she hasn't replied yet. The live feed must be particularly gripping this morning.
The Isle of Wight festival was fantabulouso, but I don't really feel like writing about it yet, because I want to do it justice. Don't really feel ready to do it justice, because I've had to come home to Wales to say goodbye to my grandad, who's dying. We went to the hospital to see him yesterday, and despite only being able to manage about three words a minute, he found the strength to call my youngest sister a 'lazy little bugger'. You go grandad!