Ha ha.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/26072006/356/yanks-fat-x-rays.html
How come they're all so huge, yet they have the thinnest actresses on earth?? I could clean my ears out with Teri Hatcher's cotton bud arms.
It was my birthday on Sunday! I am quarter of a century old. I have the complex to prove it. I think it's time to start an affair with my secretary, or make love to my brand news sports car.
Had a lovely party, which I cannot remember, although I am told we went to the beach, which would explain why I keep finding sand in my ears. Everybody was supposed to wear wigs or wings, but only a handful of people managed to 'remember'. My friend John turned up in a blonde bomshell wig with wings made out of black feathers, he looked like a transvestite crow.
Here is my own effort:
Think I may have been ever so slightly upstaged though:
Never mind, I made sure everybody was looking at me by the end of the evening by allowing my boobs to fall out of my top and not noticing for a good couple of minutes.