What have we all been doing this weekend? I went to London to see my friend Claudia, who I lived in Leicester with many moons ago. She's from Mexico, where they have colours we have never even thought of, so moving to the midlands must have made our country seem like a big grey breezeblock. Anyway, Camden has changed a lot since the last time I was there. It's like a hippy version of Harrods these days. We lost hours and hours poking around, and I bought things that I know nobody will walk down the street with me when I wear them. My credit card very near melted with excitement. Not that I have one. I still owe Blockbuster £30 (actually to be precise, my sister owes them) and have been blacklisted as a result. I have an imaginary credit card, in that I occasionally spend money like I have one. Or several. And they belong to Daddy.
Ooh, and on Friday I went to Christian barbecue, shared a bottle of Absolut with Leonie who kept making very anti-religious remarks in her special loud voice. Then we went back to the lovely Johnny's, where I had to spend most of the night keeping tabs on Danny, who Leonie's special loud voice had informed that I would be quite interested in popping Johnny's cherry, should the opportunity ever arise (it won't). He was gagging to tell Johnny this, even though he would have probably burrowed into the nearest flowerbed with embarrassment, and then taken out a restraining order on me.
The boys played croquet! On a Friday night! The girls sat on the swings and gave everybody special Pride and Prejudice style names. Danny was Lord Arbuthnot. I was Miss Scrofula. Miss Scrofula and Mistress Prim (Leonie) then got over-excited and tried to rugby tackle the Reverend Collins (Johnny). During this spot of horseplay, Miss Scrofula tripped over a croquet hoop in a rather spectacular fashion, and spent the remainder of the evening with a bag of Sainsbury's best frozen peas clamped to her foot. Most agreeable.