I have done a stupid thing. A very stupid thing. I opened an angel cake that was in the cupboard in the staff room, and cut off a sliver. Then another one. Then I wrapped it back up and hid it in the biscuit tin in the kitchen, hoping that one of the kids would make off with it. But I've just checked, and it's still there. Now I want to go downstairs, tip my head back, and push the entire thing into my mouth and down my throat like a snake swallowing a donkey. Why is it once you open a packet of something fattening, you cannot rest until the whole lot is sitting uncomfortably in your gut, and you realise you didn't even have time to taste it, and you could probably manage another one, so you head to the fridge and squirt a whole can of cream down your greedy neck, not even pausing to wipe it from your chin? This is what happens if your mother thinks sugar is the root of all evil and bans it from the house when you are small, and all your friends are sucking on Push Pops and getting purple teeth, and you take a box of Sun-Maid raisins to school that even the hamster isn't interested in.
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One cake beyond
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mmmmm angel cake, please send me some.. please, pretty please.. pretty please with a cherry on top
You can have it! Take it! I'll deliver it myself. Except I might eat it on the way
 | evie pro http://stores.ebay.co.uk/E-Jay-Trading 2007-01-13 @ 02:58 |
God I wish I hadnt read that! I was fine before but now im munching a bakewell tart! Damn
Mmmm, bakewell tart...why did you have to mention bakewell tart?
2007-01-12 @ 19:36
hmm well if you east it on the way you'd have to pick me up a galaxy as compensation.. a family size one 
That won't be safe for long either. Maybe I should just post you the cake?
2007-01-12 @ 19:43
ohh good plan
It's strapped to the back of a carrier pigeon and ready for take off...it's ok, she doesn't like cake
2007-01-12 @ 19:47
It's awfully windy out hope she doesn't get bown of course, I'd have to eat the rest of the jelly from the fridge then
She's a big girl. That's why she's gone off cake. She's on the cabbage soup diet now. The jelly could be a nice starter though
 | Juzzzy pro http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk 2007-01-12 @ 19:58 |
Will you please, for fuck's sake, stop making me laugh?
 | GoingSomewhere [Member] 2007-01-12 @ 20:23 |
Yes, why is there an irresistable urge to finish once you've started? I hope for your sake that one of the kids has spotted it by now and rammed it down their own throat.
 | mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-12 @ 21:03 |
I have a good recipe for pidgeon wellington if anybody is interested.
Only if you provide the pigeon
| mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-12 @ 23:07 |
its on its way dont eat the ring though
*still waiting for pigeon*
| mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-13 @ 10:20 |
it may take a wile to get to you as obviosly i wouldnt exspect you to pluk it yourself,so i did it for you,when it left here it was having a little bit of trouble flying.be patient.
Maybe Juzzy hit it on his way down...
| mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-13 @ 12:11 |
its hitch hiking along the a130 as we speak be with you soon
The pigeon just turned up. It's way past the sell by date. I don't wanna risk it
| mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-16 @ 22:27 |
scrape the green bits off it will be ok.trust me
I am writing this from a hospital bed...
| mad-poet [Member] 2007-01-16 @ 23:31 |
fool didnt your mother tell you never trust a stranger offering dead pigeons.i will come and make it better trust me im a doctor
2007-01-12 @ 22:36
I feel like a prize-winning heifer.
Today, I have eaten...
1 big, fuck-off roast beef sandwhich with horseradish sauce (mmmmmm horseradish) and a bag of Salt and Vinegar McCoys.
And then an M&S 'count on us' chicken wrap thing. And a bag of French Fries.
And THEN a huge fuck-off slab of shepherd's pie.
To be fair, I only ate once yesterday; but, as my plumpness can attest, apparently it doesn't count if you don't eat for 30 hours and then go nuts snarfing everything not nailed down in a sixty mile radius.
Therefore, in the spirit of sacrifice for the greater good...
I will eat your cake.
x
I don't say this often but LOL. Cake on it's way to you, provided the carrier pig I've strapped it to (the pigeon is busy) doesn't get lost x
2007-01-13 @ 17:45
Yup, I'm fairly certain it's The Law that once you start to eat cake/sweets/crisps/burgers you need more, MORE DAMMIT!!
Please, someone, take the tin of Celebrations away from me.
You've not finished those yet? I am more than a bit impressed by your restraint
 | adamantixx [Member] http://adamantixx.blog.co.uk 2007-01-13 @ 21:09 |
my powers of self-control can withstand the temptations of a mere angel cake, no problem; biscuits are a different matter, i can't open a packet without suddenly discovering that i've also finished it 
any of da cake left?
Of course. Squirty cream for madam?
Ta! with chocolate sprinkles on top?
*Boots it over to emsbabee*
Naturally. An excellent choice. Might I also recommend a side order of creme egg?
 | moirob [Member] http://theboywholikesto.blogspot.com/ 2007-01-16 @ 10:48 |
Speaking of off colour teeth my mouth always goes blue when eating peanut M&M's. Even if you take otu the blue ones my mouth still somehow manages to go blue. Any idea?
 | jemima_puddleduck [Member] 2007-01-16 @ 16:41 |
Yes ... Mr Kipling sensibly separates the cakes into three little packs of 2 fingers of cake ... can anyone say that one of those fingers is really enough? Or two for that matter? Its just a waste of wrapping cos once I open the box I still have to eat them all ...
Push pops ... I remember them ... and the ring ones too ... I wasnt allowed them either! 
Mr Kipling has clearly never been married. Otherwise he'd know not to even bother with individually wrapping the cakes. And he'd make them about three times bigger.
Those rings were the best, all kinds of interesting stuff got stuck to them
 | avrilo [Member] 2007-01-16 @ 20:46 |
44 replies to this post so far!
Blooming 'eck, you have started a mountain of replies with such a thought provoking post.
'To finish the angel cake or not to finish the angel cake'
I doubt if Mr W. Shakespeare could have put it better himself.
Me? I'm an olive girl myself. Gimme a jar of olives and I can build a replica of Buckingham Palace with the stones in 2 minutes.
It's clearly a subject that is dear to many a blogger's heart.
Mmm, olive stone palace, now there's a project
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