by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-02 - 23:11:16
*shudders* I imagine this experience would be a little like trying to shove a bowling ball through the eye of a needle.
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Archives for: February 2007, 02
Party on down
by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-02 - 20:42:28
At my brother's house. Drinking wine so acid that it's making my gums recede, and my gag reflex go on strike. But I finally get to do a 'mildly pissed' blog entry. So here we go:
Worgh...yer...I fuckin' love you guys...no, I mean it...worgh, blurgh....shagganuvva bottle of wine...I love this song...waaaaay!'
I feel cleansed.
Slicker than your average
by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-02 - 16:16:27
An 'anonymous friend' went out on a first date a couple of weeks back. She was nervous. Like most of us do, she coped with her nerves by drinking till she wasn't sure if her skull was still attached to her neck. Then they went back to his, either for coffee or an amateur stomach pump, not sure which. His house was full of Australian people. They offered the happy couple a line of coke. Being as my 'anonymous friend' was so drunk that she'd probably have thought shaving her legs with a chainsaw would be an interesting experience, she accepted happily. Not quite prepared to snort it though, she rubbed it round her gums instead.
Now. I'm sure we all know why people take coke. It gives you an increased sense of confidence for one thing. You think you are IT. That's why it's probably not the best idea to do it around people who met you ten minutes ago. They're probably not going to be able to appreciate the real you.
It was the effect it had on her that was the best bit of this sorry tale. She didn't talk at great speed and length about herself until 6am. She didn't wander into people's bedrooms and start trying on their clothes, or do a complicated dance routine on the coffee table. No, she announced in a very loud voice that she was hungry, and was going to find some food. She marched into the kitchen, opened the fridge and perused the contents. She selected a block of cheese, unwrapped it, and in front of it's owners, took a huge bite. Then declared it was mouldy and slung it back in the fridge. Christ knows what would have happened if she actually snorted a line. I'm guessing she would have defecated in their tumble dryer.
Nice work, when's the wedding?