by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-11 - 23:55:39
Milk crates? Fabric scraps? Romantical dinner? What's wrong with the Harvester?
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/21/popup/index.php?cl=1696968
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Archives for: February 2007, 11
Mass murder
by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-11 - 23:43:15
There's no stopping it. The hormones are taking over, eroding common sense, good humour and the ability to find a matching pair of socks without bursting into tears. Yes folks, it's that time of the month when an ordinary, fairly reasonable person can change from this:
Into this:
Ah, I can feel it spreading through my system like an oil spillage. Here comes the sudden desire to kick inanimate objects. The urge to boil up a vat of sugar and inject it directly into my veins. The need to throw a big stonking tantrum because I can't get the lid off this pen.
I'll be away from my desk for a bit. Trying to kick it to death.
Self control
by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-11 - 20:54:38
SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, TELL ME TO GET OFF THIS EFFING SITE AND START FILLING OUT JOB APPLICATIONS. PROPER JOBS, NOT ONES THAT INVOLVE ANALYSING THE FAECES OF SMALL ANIMALS FOR TUPPENCE AN HOUR AND A SACK OF OATS! THANK YOU
It's quarter to three, there's no-one in the place...
by Emsbabee
@ 2007-02-11 - 20:35:56
Aargh! What frickin' idiot has left the best part of a huge bag of crisps in the office? Unless I douse them with Toilet Duck, they're gonna end up in my gullet. Even if I douse them with Toilet Duck, there's still a fair chance that I'll be rinsing them under the tap at 2am and snarfing them down. It wouldn't be such a crisis if I hadn't spent the whole week in Wales treating food much like a lizard would treat an unguarded nest of eggs, frantically swallowing them whole before mother gets home.
Oh well. It's very cold in here. I expect that will burn a few unwelcome calories. My fingers look like purple crayons.
I need a new job. I don't know what's happening to the borders of Britain, but nobody seems to be getting past them any more. We haven't had a new arrival in nearly six months. And all the original cast have moved out. Their English is pretty sound, they can read train time tables and order pizzas all by themselves. They don't need us any more!
Maybe this would be suitable?
Only problem being, I'd want to squeeze every single one until their little heads pop! All in the name of science you understand. I could write a thesis on the amount of pressure required to bust a meerkat wide open...
