Due to adverse weather conditions, my dad had to sleep in his car on the motorway last week. HAR HAR HAR! Not in a ring of traffic cones, as I'd taken great pleasure in imagining, but certainly not in a Travel Tavern either.
I don't understand why this country can't cope with the weather. It's not like we've never seen rain before? If we were all living in mud huts, and our public transport system consisted of harnessing a cow to a cart and seeing how far we could get before it keeled over, then maybe this state of crisis would be more understandable?
However, seeing as our drainage systems are sending up a stream of distress signals from beneath the deluge, here is a man who could provide a formiddable flood barrier and save the UK from this soggy bottomed scenario:
