I don’t think they’ll need to worry about the lighting. The luminous glow from his skin will be all the audience need to prevent themselves from dropping their Cornettos in their laps.

Can you imagine the colour of our children? (because I will be fighting fang and tail to get backstage, ply my vampire bride with Bacardi until he’s no idea if he’s Arthur or Martha and commit acts of gross indecency with him).

I'm not much darker than paper myself. They’d be as transparent as glass. Allergic to light. We would be parents to a brood of very sarcastic Hattifatners.