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by Emsbabee @ 2008-05-15 - 12:05:46

It's been 3 weeks since I last purchased a gossip magazine. I have no idea what's going on amongst the dregs of celebrity. Who is suspected of shoving powder up their nose or their fingers down their throat. Who's lost weight. Who's gained weight. Who's got new shoes. Who's got a new nose.

How many frappuccinos has Britney been seen clutching this week? When are Jordan and Peter having their second wedding? Is there going to be an Atomic Kitten reunion, or are we only dreaming?

I've got to start watching Newsnight.

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JuzzzyJuzzzy pro
http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:11

Britney is pregnant and smoking.

Atomics reformed ages ago - but Tash is number one in Japan.

Do I get a prize?

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 12:15

Good old Britters, she never misses a trick.

In fact, your prize is a go on her.

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JuzzzyJuzzzy pro
http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:17

Old news. Have you seen how skinny her eldest is?

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 12:18

Eldest what? Child? He's only about 2, or have I missed a lot more than I thought?

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JuzzzyJuzzzy pro
http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:40

Hey - I'm prolific.

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soyunperdedorsoyunperdedor pro
http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:15

Brangelina are having twins. FFS, who cares.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 12:16

Oh wow, have they thought of any names? Dalai and Lama? Nelson and Mandela? Ying and Yang?

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soyunperdedorsoyunperdedor pro
http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:20

I don't know...but I now have new names for future cats and guinea pigs.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 12:22

Will you be rescuing them from the third world?

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soyunperdedorsoyunperdedor pro
http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:25

No, but that's another fabulous idea, so I might. I'll rescue pigs from Peru and call them Free and World.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 13:42

I can't wait to see your first photo shoot in Hello! Although I won't be buying the magazine you understand, just flicking though it in Tesco.

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GilraenHGilraenH pro
http://www.gilraen.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 19:51

Brangelina are getting a bit Woody Allen & Mia Farrow these days. We all know how that turned out....oh dear.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 20:06

You mean Brad will end up marrying Shiloh? Yeuch. They look horribly similar.

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GilraenHGilraenH pro
http://www.gilraen.blog.co.uk
2008-05-16 @ 00:12

Well, I would hope that if it does happen, like Woody, he wouldn't choose a blood relative....

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-16 @ 12:17

I dunno, there's a touch of the Fritzl about him...

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eggbodeggbod [Member]
http://wordworld.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 12:59

There is a strange little movie out called SATC - I haven't a clue what it means but I think it's: Shoes And Those Corns!!!!

Stars four gels knocking on a bit

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 13:44

Is it some kind of unauthorised biography of Madonna?

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eggbodeggbod [Member]
http://wordworld.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 13:52

Sadly no.

KERRANG was keen to document her guitar playing as they thought the title summed up her harmonious and gifted style

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 13:53

She could have a pluck off with Phoebe out of Friends.

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eggbodeggbod [Member]
http://wordworld.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 14:03

Ah yes...........smelly cat?

Or was that just the name of her coffee table sex book?

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 20:03

No, that was called 'Minge'. Simple yet effective.

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timekillingkidtimekillingkid [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 14:34

You missed Pete and Jord's enema pics. Not quite sure what they'll do to top that.

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GilraenHGilraenH pro
http://www.gilraen.blog.co.uk
2008-05-15 @ 19:52

Christ, that's horrific.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 20:05

Take it in turns to film each other on the toilet?

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stompyrobotstompyrobot [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 21:36

Again?

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 21:41

Back by popular demand.

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stompyrobotstompyrobot [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 21:42

Now - when you say "Popular" - is this some sort of slang that I'm just not "down with"?

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 21:47

OK, when I say popular, what I actually mean is 'specialist'.

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stompyrobotstompyrobot [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 21:50

Now - when you say "Specialist" -

Just kidding.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 21:56

It's slightly more tactful than 'freakish'.

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timekillingkidtimekillingkid [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 21:39

They'll probably go at the same time and get Harvey to film it.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 21:43

Just another Friday night in the Andre-Price household...

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stompyrobotstompyrobot [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 22:00

How different her life would have been if she'd married Ian Fisher...

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 22:05

Indeed. She'd probably be crotching cricket bats for our viewing pleasure.

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stompyrobotstompyrobot [Member]
2008-05-15 @ 22:07

I was going more for a bad joke about Fisher-Price, but I realise that as target audience references go, not so much...

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-15 @ 22:10

Unfortunately, I always go for the lowest form of humour, hence I was immediately drawn to the cricket bat.

Still, we don't really want Katie Price anywhere near children's toys do we? God knows what 'here-otic' things she'd find to do with them.

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moirobmoirob [Member]
http://theboywholikesto.blogspot.com/
2008-05-16 @ 20:57

How good does it feel not knowing?
The next step is not caring, thats like almost like Heaven. Some people say its akin to having a drink of water after a long run. It's that good.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-19 @ 13:44

I'm not there yet. Am still at the itchy scratchy 'just stopped smoking' stage. Gnargh.

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DominicGeeDominicGee [Member]
2008-05-21 @ 08:53

well instead of filling you in on what's been happening, allow me to congratulate you on keeping clear for so long - it shows just how little it matters.

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EmsbabeeEmsbabee pro
2008-05-21 @ 09:46

It didn't matter, until I cracked yesterday and bought New magazine. Well, it is a whole 45p less than Now. How can you refuse?

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